Retro Game Review -- Qix

Game: Qix

System: Atari 5200

Publisher: Atari

Year: 1982

Ranking: Three Quarters

To split the Qix, or not to split the Qix? That is the question.

Qix, rhymes with kicks, was originally released as an arcade game in 1981 by Taito. In the game, players control a diamond shaped marker. Your goal is to trap the dreaded Qix as he dances erratically around a field of black. To do this you draw a series of polygons into the void. Polygons that are completed using the quick-draw button turn blue, while polygons that are drawn using the slow-draw button are awarded more points and turn orange. You advance to the next board once you block off 65% of the board in the Atari 5200 version.

Working against you are the Qix and his minions. If the Qix touches your line before you complete a polygon, you are electrified and explode like a broadcast tower. A new diamond shaped marker is created where the last marker started drawing. While you travel on the boundary of the board, you are safe from the Qix but not the Sparxs. These insidious characters march inexorably around the outside of the board. One touch from them will kill just as quickly as the Qix itself. Finally, if you pause in the process of drawing a line, the Fuse will begin to crackle up the line towards your diamond shaped marker. If it reaches you, you will ignite like TNT.

Qix is a lot of fun. It has a good amount of strategy and there is enough going on in the background to keep you on your toes. The Atari 5200 controller sometimes makes it difficult to precisely draw your polygons as intended, but in most cases this doesn't affect the outcome of the game. In later levels, multiple Qix begin to dance around. Splitting the Qix into different portions of the board can yield point mulitplers. Mulitpliers can go up to 8x! I was always uncertain if I should split the Qix for more points later or if I should just try to finish up the level for maximum points now.

Qix was a game I didn't remember hearing about before getting my 5200. I'd like to give a shout out to the journalistic review of Qix I found on the Classic Game Room YouTube channel. It made me go out and find this early strategic gem.

Retro Game Rankings: No Quarters to Four Quarters. It should be noted, that although the going price of an arcade game was a single quarter when many of these games first came out, I feel that the true retro game fans would be willing to pay a little bit more to capture the glory of playing some of the truly great ones one more time.

Retro Game Review -- Pole Position

Game: Pole Position

System: Atari 5200

Publisher: Atari

Year: 1983

Ranking: Four Quarters

Pole Position was one of my favorite arcade games growing up. To a 10 year old with a single quarter, Pole Position was a guaranteed 60 seconds of excitement. This was a seemingly eternity greater amount of time than the mere seconds I could hope for from the likes of Pac Man or Space Invaders. If you were smart and opted to race at Monaco Speedway, you could turn that single quarter into two to three minutes of white knuckle racing.

Pole Position was also one of reasons I wanted to go out and get an Atari 5200. I knew that if I bought the 2600 version of this arcade classic my memories would be in as many pieces as a Formula One car that accidentally brushed the side of an explosive lined billboard, which, incidentally, is only type of billboard sanctioned for use at the Monaco Speedway. While the 5200 version isn't up to the quality of the arcade, it is one of the truest incarnations of this game that you can get for an early home console. To fathom the potential depths of disappointment I would have faced with the 2600 version, check out the excellent comparison video at the Gaming History Source Channel on YouTube.

Thankfully, the 5200 version of Pole Position has kept my fond memories largely intact. Yes, the car is blocky. Yes, there is no announcer to start the race. And, yes, the volatile billboards lack any advertisements. On the other hand, the sounds are just as vibrant, the racers are just as numerous, and the challenge is just as great as the arcade. Moreover, the much maligned 5200 controller seems to be well suited for this type of game. There are no issues holding down the fire button for full throttle, nor does the non-self centering joystick work against you. If you utterly loath the joystick, you do have the option to use the 5200 trackball. Unfortunately, I keep getting out bid for this prized item on eBay, so I wasn't able to test this option.

The best feature of the console version is that it maintains the unforgiving character of the arcade. Regardless of if you slam into a competitor or gently bush his wheels, the result will always be a stereophonic, multicolored, massive explosion. Accidentally veer off into an unadorned billboard and you had best be hoping that your life insurance payments are up to date because you are about to be vaporized. There is no such thing at a fender bender in Pole Position. I guess that's why everyone is honking all the time. They don't want your aggressive NASCAR antics sending them from here to kingdom come.

Pole Position is great fun and highly recommended. It is one of the most common games for the 5200, so don't spend more than a few dollars on this early racing gem.

Retro Game Rankings: No Quarters to Four Quarters. It should be noted, that although the going price of arcade games was a single quarter when many of the games I review came out, I feel that the true retro game fans would be willing to pay a little bit more to capture the glory of playing some of the truly great ones one more time.

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Retro Game Review -- Eggomania

Game: Eggomania
System: Atari 2600
Publisher: US Games
Year: 1982

Ranking: Two Quarters

I'm starting the Retro Game Review with a paddle game!? Seriously?

Maybe it's because I picked-up the nickname "Egg" in high school after regretfully wearing an Egghead Discount Software t-shirt to gym, but I feel a strange attraction to Eggomania.

The basic plot: you are a desperate, blue bear. A psychotic barnyard bird of uncertain pedigree--is it a chicken, a turkey, or a beefy Cornish hen--has decided to drop a reign of terror/eggs down upon you. The only item you have to protect yourself is a large bowl that you tightly grip above your head as you slide back and forth. Miss an egg and a sea of yolk rises around you. Fail enough times and you drown in the viscous, yellow fluid. At the end of each round you have the opportunity of launching the eggs you have collected back at your tormentor. Succeed, and some of the yolk that has accumulated around you flows away, extending your life.

The game starts out slow, and the first three rounds are quite manageable. As you make your way up through the rounds the number of eggs increases and the bird speeds up. Past round four, things start to get both interesting and frustrating as both speed and precision become important.

One of the most infuriating aspects of the game is hitting the bird with the recovered eggs. Targeting the bird is extremely inconsistent. While I improved at catching the eggs, I only hit the bird about 50% of the time. Hitting the bird does provide a lot of satisfaction, however. Rather than covering the bird in yolk, which would be expected, the eggs strips the poor bird all the way down to his underwear and he flies away dejected. For a 2600 game, the graphics are pretty detailed... Unfortunately for you, the poor bear (which to me looks more like an asphyxiated frog), one of his buddies comes along to continue the fight.

While some of the mechanics were clunky, I found the game fun and challenging. I'd recommend it to anyone looking to expand their paddle game collection.

Retro game rankings range: No Quarters to Four Quarters. It should be noted, that although the going price of arcade games was a single quarter when many of the games I review came out, I feel that the true retro game fans would be willing to pay a little bit more to capture the glory of playing some of the truly great ones one more time. 

Vinyl Review -- Dave Brubeck Quartet: At Carnegie Hall

Ranking: Gold

Dave Brubeck recently passed away. Prior to his death, I didn't think I was familiar with him or his work. However, once all the media outlets started playing "Take Five", I couldn't help but recall that I had heard Dave Brubeck's exulting, swinging jazz some where, some place before.

Full disclosure: I am not a jazz fan. I remember in college picking up the obligatory copy of Miles Davis' Kind of Blue. I enjoyed listening to the CD, but I never felt compelled to buy more jazz. Today, the closest I come to jazz is listening to the piano man at Nordstroms as I walk to and from my car in the parking garage. Despite my limited exposure, every Dave Brubeck remembrance piece I heard included music that was like an old, lost friend. I think this is because much of the "great" jazz music simply and effortlessly permeates into pop culture. Brubeck's music can be heard in commercials, television shows, movies, and video games. In fact, one of the reasons I am familiar with his work is because "Blue Rondo a la Turk", which can be found on this album, was the start of the fight music in Final Fantasy VII.

The Dave Brubeck Quartet At Carnegie Hall is a 2 LP live album clocking in at a little over 90 minutes. My copy, shown below, was discovered in my parents attic, and, thankfully, it is in relatively good shape. The album cover reveals an amazing amount of information about Dave Brubeck, the band, and the performance. We learn, for example, that Brubeck didn't have high hopes for the February 22, 1963 performance. A snow storm and newspaper strike threatened to keep the audience away. Thankfully, the fans showed up and, according to the cover, that evening the Dave Brubeck band "reached swinging heights few ... had ever heard it attain before".

I enjoyed the album; although, at 90 minutes I found it difficult to stay focused during a single sitting. The album is a bit like a locomotive, it starts out slow but is able to build up a good head of steam by the end. The final few songs are the ones that everyone recognizes and remembers. They alone are worth the price of admission. I don't think I'll find myself listening to this album very often in its entiery. However, I wouldn't be surprised if from time to time, I'll throw on the second album just to hear the riff and rythms of "Blue Rondo a la Turk" or "Take Five".
  
Buying Tip: The album can be found on eBay as either a single 2 LP set, like the one shown below, or two 1 LP sets. If you are going to purchase only one record, I highly recommend the second one, since this is the one that will most likely include the songs you are familiar with.

Album rankings range: Silver - Gold - Platinum. Special Multi-Platinum and Bronze rankings are possible for exceptional, and exceptionally bad, albums, respectively.

Ready Player One

As I read Ernest Clive's nostalgic first novel Ready Player One, I found myself getting increasingly wrapped up in late 70s and early 80s pop/nerd culture. I relived the dungeon crawling adventures of my youth when I read through a tattered, well used copy of The Tomb of Horrors, a classic, fiendishly difficult AD&D module from 1978. I rocked out to a popping and hissing vinyl copy of Rush's prog rock masterpiece, 2112. I got myself a genuine, working Atari 2600 and have been running through jungles, blasting apart asteroids, and chomping pesky blue ghosts whenever the opportunity arises.

In the time since I've started this throwback binge, I've discovered that I've accrued quite a vinyl and video game collection. It's actually pretty easy to do. Many records and 2600 games can be found for about $5 bucks. Reasonably priced, high-quality or rare selections can run up to $30. The easiest and quickest way to boost your collection; however, doesn't require any money--simply find someone who is sick of having a pile of "junk" in their attic. They'll be more than happy to part with whatever you may want.

This blog is motivation for me to comment and refect on all the vinyl, games, and other oscassional items that have made their way into my collection. I already have a pile records that have just been sitting in the house for six months unlistened to. These items need a chance, even if that chance may only be a 140 character tweet. Maybe this blog will help prevent a few hidden gems from getting dusty and forgotten in a dark attic near you.

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